There are days like today where my heart is heavy. Where the burdens of the world weigh too much and the depths of despair run too deep.
It has been a long week with party arrangements, preparations for guests and possibly the most taxing, little sleep. My sweet child has been ill and waking in the night. It is a joy and delight to be her comforter and nurturer during her painful hours, but yet another load on my soul.
With the discovery of a few molars poking through her gums, days of fever followed by Roseola, and the realization of a crooked foot, my heart fears the worst. Can I handle any of this?
To add to my sorrow, friends who are walking through brokenness, dashed dreams and financial difficulty, their unfair realities bear down on my heart. Persecution in Iraq, widespread war and evil, outbreaks of Ebola – today’s newspaper has me feeling numb. And I question, why-oh-why?
(The more damaging issues above placing my previous pain in perspective, but yet adding to my yoke nonetheless.)
Today is a day where I run to my God. I am afraid to pray for faith as I feel I will be tested with more turmoil. However, I know this is not true; I would rather walk through these times trusting in the Man that died for me than trust no one at all. Moreover, I would rather walk in His plan that results in His greatest glory and my highest good than walk alone. I know I must walk either way.
So, I pray for Faith.
As moves my fragile bark across the storm-swept sea,
Great waves beat o’er her side, as north wind blows;
Deep in the darkness hid lie threat’ning rocks and shoals;
But all of these, and more, my Pilot knows.
Sometimes when dark the night, and every light gone out,
I wonder to what port my frail ship goes;
Still though the night be long, and restless all my hours,
My distant goal, I’m sure, my Pilot knows.
-Thomas Curtis Clark