The world can be cruel. So can our thought life, our cultural values, and our desires for so-called perfection (or simply put, acceptance).
That sneer or snide remark from a colleague that simply kicks us while were down. That harmless comment that pushes us over the proverbial edge, because we are already fighting deception and lies on the battlefield of our personal world. You know what I am talking about. Well, if you’re willing to be honest, I think you do.
This post is addressed to my pregnant sisters, but I think many of you who aren’t currently with child can also relate.
Let me start off with a little story telling:
If you’ve been following along with my pregnancy “bump dates”, you might find a common theme that this pregnancy has been harder for me than the last. Harder on my body, harder on my ego, harder on my ability to achieve, and all and all, harder on the hidden places of weakness in my heart.
I’ve received a lot of attention this pregnancy and not due to superb blog content or noble-prize-esque contributions to society. The attention I have received has been directed toward my growing belly. As a human myself, I understand we are a people that observe, draw conclusions and ask questions to understand and make sense of our world. However, there comes a point when something needs to be done with this information. For me, after receiving comment after comment, reflection upon reflection, and statement after statement, I want to try and qualify these observations into categories: good or bad. I need a conclusion. But it doesn’t always work that way. Or so I am learning.
I want praise and admiration for my achievements, character and wit. Not something I feel like I have little control over – aka my pregnant waistline. I have felt bombarded with the “bad” category of conclusions.
But the story doesn’t end here. I have found truth and strength in community. I am beyond blessed to have a community of friends with whom I can openly share my heartache. A group of women who will tell me the truth, but with love, “Yes, you are bigger this pregnancy. And you’re still okay: worthy, desired and loveable. You are growing a baby and are allowed to be pregnant. But that being said, let’s go and karate chop that dirt bag at the grocery store who made that rude comment!”
I can’t imagine going through this pregnancy without the lovely ladies who all bring unique perspective, brokenness, hope, truth and love to each other’s lives. I am learning to be a friend who fights for my friends’ hearts and minds, and I am grateful for the women at my side in trenches.
“Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life.” – Psalm 4:23