You’re allowed to figure it out. Yes, you! We Mamas are so hard on ourselves: Googling, Pinteresting, group texting and franticly worrying if we’re doing anything “right”. Trying to do life perfect is exhausting.
Lately, I feel like my friends and I struggle to give ourselves the freedom to simply “try”. We lament if we should potty train like this, discipline like that, let babies sleep like this or reward kids like that. Luckily, we’re a group of women who are able to share what has worked for us in the past, with the tacked on reminder: you’re allowed to figure it out. I’m not an expert, but I think trying to figure out your child is better than just coasting along, hoping age and time will sort them out. Learn, adjust, relearn and readjust is the name of the game.
In many areas of parenting, there is no one way to address an issue. The child’s temperament, heart, history and personality are all factors in how we need to approach our children. In other areas, parenting is quite straight forward (i.e. don’t stick your hand in the toilet and lick it – if you’re wondering if this happened recently, yes, it did), but if I’m honest, I’m jealous of the mom who comes across as (over) confident with the difficult issues. Sometimes, I pretend I’m self-assured about my methods for the sake of the child … but really … I’m grasping straws…
How freeing it is to gather as much information and support we need to feel comfortable with our decisions, and then give it a test run. Course correct where necessary, then onward and outward, soldier Mama! If you’re the type of Mama who feels like they have no idea what they’re doing, you’re not alone. You’ve either a) never been a mom before and/or b) never been a mom to this child before.
“The “if only’s” are endless. Recognize that you did the best you could under the circumstances and with the knowledge you had at the time, and let yourself off the hook!” – Kathleen Kendall-Tackett
I remind myself daily that I’ve never taken this path before and that I won’t take it again tomorrow. Letting myself be a student of motherhood is how I approach my joy-filled-yet-exhausting.
My heart has never been fuller.
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A few of my favourite resources as of late: