Photocredit to the extremely talented Breanne Heidrich of Heima Photography
This may not be the case for every mom expecting a third. So take what I say with a grain of salt and as one human’s perspective.
Less Time to Focus on Pregnancy
You don’t have as much time, energy or attention to focus on your pregnancy and the baby you’re growing inside. You have two others who are very present and practically need your hands, your eyes, your voice and your focus. And this is ok! The third baby needs my body and that I can abundantly give. (Plus all the salt and pepper pistachios).
This has made the pregnancy both extremely fast and terribly slow. Mostly because I’ve lost track of the days. As the weeks creep up on me, I become both excited and sad. Excited to meet this baby and sad to not feel like I’ve treasured these moment enough (this will most likely be my last).
Thick Skin a.k.a All the Comments
You are now an anomaly. People are concerned for your well-being as you will be “outnumbered”. People will tell you: they could never do it, kids will dictate your life, you’ll never travel again, you will never have time for you, you will be all things poor, broke starving and barely surviving, and that your general happiness and sanity as a person is stolen.
You will also continually be asked if this baby was “an accident”, if you are trying for a specific gender, and why you couldn’t help control the population by following an unspoken two child law.
You become more confident in not knowing. My life has become a constant flow of learn, adjust, re-learn, re-adjust. And I’m okay with that. Each child brings a beautiful weave of heart, personality, temperament, challenge and ease. I’m slowly learning what truly matters in a home and in a heart and trimming the fat and cutting myself slack with outliers. (For my sanity and the well-being of the kids/hubby!)
You Think You’re Behind but You’re Actually Ahead
- I’m behind on paying attention to kicks
- I’m behind on getting the nursery sorted and girls’ room transitioned
- I’m behind on blood work (only one week guys. I have my appt scheduled!)
- I’m behind on painting
- I’m behind on emails, birthday presents, thank yous, girls nights, and touch points
- I’m behind on fresh hair and painted nails
- I’m behind on meal planning and laundry
But I’m intentional and focused which is right on target.
Because when it means listening to your pregnant body and trusting it – you put that first. It means resting. It means sitting on the couch reading with the girls before scrubbing the floors and learning the cries and joys of their hearts. It means sitting on the couch eating ice cream while watching Netflix with your hubby and neighbours. It means putting first things first. And I love the focus.
Don’t Let People Scare You
You won’t fit in. And as you have more than three kids, I’m sure this list will expand. So let me tell you the joys of three kids:
- You can play two-on-two soccer with a sub
- One child can wash, one can dry, and the other can put away the dishes
- Kids can play more board games like monopoly
- You will have less resources. But then you become more resource-full.
- There are less examples of modern day families of five, so you can be trendsetter
- You will never question , “should we have tried for one more?” (unless you want 3+)
- You become a team. When challenges arise with time and money – you can all become creative and seek out opportunities and draw closer together.
Preaching to my own heart, in many ways, with this post. What would you add to the joys of children rather than the burden of a bigger family?