Sorrow Welcome Here.
“Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don’t be afraid.” – Frederick Buchner⠀
In Canada, it’s Thanksgiving weekend. I take it as a time to intentionally stop and write out a gratitude list and reflect on the “good things” in my life. But this year, it has felt harder than others when the weight of this broken world presses in. Broken bodies, broken homes, broken lives, broken families, broken dreams.
Despair, hurt, sorrow, loss, weakness, uncertainty, hopelessness, sadness, fear, death.
All realities and very present trials in my circles. I’m a huge believer of not glossing over “the hard stuff” and facing the torrents head on … or at least not denying the wind. One of my favourite quotes, “wounds denied, cannot be healed”, plays true in this season. And at the same time, when the world is crumbling – when my world is crumbling – I need hope. I need to be reminded that there is hope. There is a God who cares for me and those I love.
So here is my gratitude list:
- My God who walks through the trials with me. No on the outside looking in, but in the midst. “I no longer pray for God to take me out of the circumstance, but for me to know His presence in the middle of it.”
- My husband who loves me well and serves us well. Who is an awesome cook (ladies – when thinking about getting married, add this to your list if you don’t like to cook. I married up!), who loves my girls in all their girliness, and who wants to leave the world a better place than when he entered it.
- My sweet children. I don’t want a to wish away this phase: whines, poops, temper tantrums included. Their tenderness, their innocence and their joy.
- My family near and far who support us and make my life richer.
- My friends who are real, raw, generous, and true. For our “babysitter” (who is a nurturer of my girls very beings), for our neighbours who are like family and take us in at our worst, for those who have stood by me since the first grade, and those I’ve met in my adult years.
- My job. I have never loved my job as much as I do now. I have purpose and passion and a sisterhood. I look forward to getting up and working with them every day.
- My country. The freedom I have. The kindness. The small talk.
- My midwives who care for me so well and have become like aunts to me.
- My eggnog. Enough said.
- My home. Although a work in progress, a sanctuary and a refuge.