All photos taken by the wonderfully talented Justine Milton of @miltonphoto
I’ve had my fair share of pregnancy and delivery joys and woes. Some high-highs and some low-lows. From a text book natural birth to post-partum depression, from a glowing pregnancy to emergency c-section. What is most certainly true, is that there are no guarantees. What is even more true, is that we are a resilient people.
I’ve learnt a lot with each pregnancy, birth and child. Gratitude and uncertainty are definitely high up there on the life’s lessons spectrum. I’ve learnt that you never say, “yes – let’s just hope/pray/be thankful for a healthy baby”. All good things. But honestly, I never say that anymore. Not everyone gets a healthy baby, a healthy pregnancy or an easy birth. And yet gratitude needs to be part of it all. You learn to say inwardly (and sometimes outwardly) – I’m thankful for this child, for who they are, for how long I’m entrusted with them, in whatever state they’re in.
Because what about that baby who was a stillbirth? What about that baby who has a genetic condition and will struggle for their life? What about that delivery that nearly killed their mother? What about them, can they still be thankful despite the lack of health? The child is still a gift and a delight, and the child will have lasting impact on their mother’s heart and this world. Even for a moment, but always an eternity.
The innate value of the child and mother is what matters. Knowing what I know now, I would say something along the lines of “let’s pray for this child, let’s hope for this child, let’s be thankful for this child”, not for the child’s “outcome” but for who they are.
Through my struggles, I found a place for gratitude and pain to co-exist. I’m so thankful for a natural, VBAC, hospital, C-section, and birthing centre birth. I’m thankful that both the ups and downs involved in all of my pregnancies and births were not wasted. I’m thankful for the support I had from my midwives who believed in my body – in whatever capacity this is and was – when I doubted.